Comments on Deeply Problematic: Paperwork & homework, anxiety & ADD: institutiona...

How did you manage to do well in college? I'm ...

2010-12-06T22:39:56.012-05:00

How did you manage to do well in college? I'm finishing up my first semster of my freshman year and am STILL having homework anxiety. I have been seeing a therapist for two years for many reasons including depression and have been on lexapro for a little over a year. I've had issues with schoolwork as long as i can remember and have had tutors who thought i was lazy and teachers who get very frustrated at my very high standardized test scores and seemingly low commitment to school. I internally berate myself every second that i am not doing homework or other paperwork errands yet still can't manage to just do it. I genuinely enjoy classes, class discussion, talking to teachers(aside from the shame) and reading about academic subjects outside of homework. I'm desperate to prove myself. what can i do?

I've struggled with this my whole life and sti...

2010-10-07T19:01:54.767-04:00

I've struggled with this my whole life and still do. I find that I really do well if I can find someone who will help me fill them out, even just sit there with me, until I fill them out, so I'm not allowed to switch my focus, or not complete them, or is there if I start going through anxiety attacks around them, from information overload. However, it's not always easy to find someone willing to sit with you. If you're highly intelligent, and many of us are, folks refuse to believe you need help with something so "simple" as filling out a form. As the years go by, the frustration grows, because one can't help think to oneself, "If only people would just HELP me, with the things I tell them I need help with, instead of always trying to convince me I don't need help, that its a self esteem issue, or saying No, then, I would have gotten so much farther in my life."

What's also problematic is the sexism that so many women with ADD/HD struggle with. I mean, how many men have wives, sisters, girlfriends and secretaries in particular, who ALL help them fill out forms. "Ha, Ha, Ha! He's such a boy at heart! What would he do without us?"

I always find it frustrating that I am many times labeled as "being dependent," for asking for help like filling out forms, things that secretaries and the such REGULARLY do for me, whether they even have a Neuro Diversity or not. Simply because men are not supposed to be detail orientated, and so, "can't help themselves." *rolls eyes*

My problem with paperwork is fatigue, not ADD, but...

2010-10-07T15:36:49.755-04:00

My problem with paperwork is fatigue, not ADD, but in any case my smartphone and keeping as much as possible in the "cloud" (I use the Cozi calendar and Dropbox, lots of people like the Google calendar and Google Docs, etc.) are very helpful to me in keeping up with it. Lost my insurance card? I bring it up with my insurance company's iphone app. That kind of thing.

Hey - here via Feministe. Can't stress enough ...

2010-09-26T18:31:55.773-04:00

Hey - here via Feministe. Can't stress enough how much this resonates with me. I am putting off going to the doctor for really, really necessary tests because I can't find my insurance card and I think it was stolen when I got my wallet stolen and OMG I might have to find out how to get another card and possibly make some calls and find some old paperwork and on and on and..........

I put off getting the tests done again. It's really fucked up that this is coming between my and my health, even though I know I'm lucky to have insurance at all.

Thanks, all, for the kinds comments. This is the f...

2010-09-22T13:07:22.525-04:00

Thanks, all, for the kinds comments. This is the first time I've addressed this disability on here - I actually denied I had it until about this summer.

As for tips, I'm not really sure what to say. I'm a little reticent to describe my experience as anything to emulate, but I will share how I functioned in college...

The only thing that has ever REALLY helped was getting jobs and taking classes and writing things I was/am interested in. As I said, I work all the time - but that's because I like all of the kinds of work that I do.

Keeping busy always helps me - I wasn't a club person, but I always had at least two jobs plus an active social life plus boyfriend plus ongoing hobbies plus (in college) two majors and accompanying honors theses. My majors, English and PoliSci, allowed a wide lattitude for procrastination and bullshitting as long as I went to class, spoke up, and handed in stellar papers. Pulling all-nighters saved my ass constantly.

I'd be happy to hear how other people deal with ADD in college and otherwise, with one caveat - no passing judgment on other people's coping methods. People are individual, and not to be shamed for their work habits.

Thanks a ton for writing this. My stress levels ov...

2010-09-22T02:10:19.515-04:00

Thanks a ton for writing this. My stress levels over my seeming inability to do lab reports and fill out paperwork have been skyrocketing as of late. It's always reassuring to know that I am not alone. Also, should you have the time, I too would like to know if you have any tips. My ADD is crippling me these days, and I have to write those lab reports sometime.

This is a damn good post and I'm also glad you...

2010-09-22T01:34:22.606-04:00

This is a damn good post and I'm also glad you posted this. As a person who has always dealt with anxiety (general and social) since I was very young, I've always had the worst time with school papers and people. My anxiety with people has lessened over time, but my anxiety with anything like school papers, homework, or anything that has a due date has always screwed me over because I would procrastinate a lot (I'm easily distracted and working with any kind of foreign noise in the background does not work for me, I need silence) and when I would actually finally get to doing work, I'd start doubting if stuff is good enough, or if I'm doing something correctly, or I would get incredibly frustrated if I didn't understand the work to the point where I would have panic attacks and wouldn't sleep until I could get myself together. During high school (when I had a bigger work load), my anxiety/lack of sleep got so bad that I contemplated and attempted suicide quite often up until my senior year of high school where I had a complete meltdown and had to take a temporary leave of absence from school (after being hospitalized) so I can get myself together and figure out what to do. While my dad didn't handle it well (he got pissed, blamed me, and made jokes about it), my mom was pretty supportive and I don't think I could have gotten out of that experience without her.

Anyways, thanks a lot for posting this. Out of curiosity, how did you deal with all the homework and projects in college? I'm in college now and I still have a bit of trouble with my anxiety and with doing work. Any tips?

This comes at an interesting time for me as I'...

2010-09-21T18:20:26.344-04:00

This comes at an interesting time for me as I've just started a new adult education course (finally given up on traditional academic college work as I'd rather not relapse into ED behaviors...) and I actually left the room and cried because of all the paperwork. I've never had an official written diagnosis of ADD, just "you probably have it but prescribing Ritalin would be medically immoral so it sucks to be you" and it could just as easily be due to my anxiety or due to nothing at all so I don't know if my inability re: paperwork IS a genuine problem or a "moral failing" :( but at least it gives me a perspective regarding teaching methods for the kids.

Ahhhh sorry that got completely out of hand! Basic version - THIS IS A GOOD POST.

I am so glad you wrote this. I've been talking...

2010-09-21T17:18:38.726-04:00

I am so glad you wrote this. I've been talking about this exact topic a lot this past week. I hate paperwork sooo much.